The Annoying Word.doc Trick

Find your victim’s computer and open up a word document. Type in a minimum of one letter and repeat. By typing in the document, your victim won’t be able to simply close the file, they will have to hit “Don’t Save” again, and again, and again.

Keep the Prank Alive

I wanted to be sure that graduation wouldn't spell the end of our Pranking careers. So I decided to join a local "chapter" of Improv Everywhere based out of Baltimore. (That's right... it's not a secret.) As long as you're accompanied by other agents, I don't think joining an anonymous prank ring is too sketchy. But watch out for your selves!

From their website and forum, you can join a local group or watch some hilarious NYC improvising.

Popcorn Doors

I was at a conference in California when I heard about this prank from my program director. She had evidently hit some 18 houses with this one, and still managed to avoid being caught. I told her I’d try it out in our “East Coast” Prank War (soon to go transcontinental as of graduation.) I’d say this worked fairly well. It was a smaller-scale prank. You know.

Supplies: Trash bags (or tablecloth, sheet, etcetera), duct tape, popcorn (around 15 bags per door at least.) You could splurge on an air-popper if you plan to do this as frequently as my program director.

Execution: Pop the popcorn, clearly. And while you do, you’ll need to construct a sheet of trash bags that can stretch the width of the doorframe in question. I met my team and we put tape around three edges of the bag so that we could tape it to the doorframe and floor (as close to the door as you can, so as to maximize the volume of popcorn.) Fill the space with popcorn and scramble to safety. When your victim opens the door in the morning, they’ll flood their room or foyer with popcorn.

Caution: Watch out for sizzling grease and over-heating microwaves!

Difficulty: The only thing that’s difficult about this one is being stealthy. I used three helpers (two people per door) so we could be as quiet as possible. Keep in mind that your victim has to be inside the room.

The Jungle

The title comes from here.

Supplies: Raw meat, preferably nast already so you’re not wasting fresh stuff. Ideally, you’d be able to hit a supermarket deli around 7 p.m. and talk about whether they throw out their meat or not. I would be giving this same tip if this blog was ‘I love feeding hungry people’. Masking tape or duct tape if you feel comfortable about it not taking the wall with it.

Execution: After you’ve fed some people who need it with the tons of unnecessarily discarded food [grr America], save a pound of meat for your victim. Tape half a pound of meat in semi-obvious places, using strips about the length of your hand. Two lengths of tape crosswise should hold them. Then go for difficult spots – the ceiling in the closet, under a laundry basket, to the underside of dresser drawers, lampshades. Hopefully, they won’t be completely thorough in their search and forced to find some by smell, as I believe Double Cee was.

The above painting is titled 'Rotting Meat', and it's by Cindy Wright.

Difficulty: Rather low. It’s about stretching resources. Ten minutes for the semi-obvy meat chunks, twenty for the hard-to-check places. Not much damage to your calendar or wallet, and it can be pretty annoying for the prankee.

NOTE: Make sure your victim and your meat match; you don’t want to be mushing pulled pork against an Orthodox Jew’s wall.

Pranking Paralytics: The Prank Within

Double Cee has been just running me lately, with an assist from everything else in my life. But that’s no excuse. ILBP is fun, and I’ll update more. Especially with some fun ones forthcoming.

One of the oldest [and most rural] high school pranks is to let 3 good-sized animals [pigs or cows, traditionally] into the school building, labeling them 1, 2, and 4. There you have the essence of what can make pranks ingenious: the stretching of resources to extend the prank.

It’s why, for the first time ever, I was actually a little disappointed in Double Cee’s execution in the glitter prank. In the five[!] hours I spent cleaning my room, I would expect to find glitter in certain places, and then would be crestfallen when there wasn’t any in, say, my retainer case, or my pillows. Admittedly, it was still quite the prank, and I probably had that reaction only because I’m a prank-weary veteran.

Sigh.

There’s a passage in the prank-based young adult book Matilda about how the antagonist principal Ms. Trunchbull gets away with her excessive abuse of students. Paraphrased: “the key is to go whole hog, to do something so ridiculous that no one would ever believe it if you told them.” While we’re not trying to destroy lives here, more than a few acquaintances are surprised when we mention the time, effort, and dead animals that have gone into this thing.

And once you know your rival -and establish some ground rules- push the pre-pranked envelope.

See the above post for an example of a low-material, low-expense prank within a prank.

My Pranking Cup Overfloweth

This post is dedicated to Catherine!

I've decided to take matters into my own hands. Therefore, the ensuing post will be out of its originally designed context. That is to say, I'm about to explain how to defuse a prank that Tyler Jimmy has not explained how to execute.

I am not patient.

I had an advantage in disassembling this prank: I knew it was coming!

You could say that I metaphorically caught Tyler Jimmy with his pranking-pants down. I happened to walk into the room while the cup-sculpture was under construction. I assumed cups were made for filling, and when Tyler Jimmy didn’t show up for class Thursday night – I knew it was only a matter of time before somebody spilled… the prank.

(I’m not apologizing for that.)

Sure enough, I arrived home to find the image to your left. I contemplated the cups around my room, cursing and shuffling. It occurred to me to drain the cup by puncturing the bottom and maneuvering the cup over a plastic dish. Yeah, that doesn’t work! You’ll dump as much water onto the floor from the connected cups as you empty.

(Insert Act Two here – including dramatic build up, choreographed dance competitions and a team of Alaskan snow dogs.)

The de-pranking muses graced me right around this time, and here’s how I did finally get the construction apart. Using an exacto-knife I cut away sections of the cups, slicing under the staple when the water level was below the level of the said fastener. You’ll have to finagle. I used a tray to carry the sections to the sink where I dumped them out. Doing this it took me about an hour total to get the cups cleaned up (including some spilled “water.”)

I would go on here about how the smell of nutmeg and dish soap brought back memories of my dad in his bachelor days (when he’d just started working for McCormick Spice Company) – but this post has gone on long enough. And my dad doesn't prank me.

Pranking Paralytics: Resources

Is it possible to be a good pranker and a thrifty one? I think our US consumerist mindset has corroded that great frugal value of “resourcefulness” into “able to buy resources.” I for example, in my quest to wreck Tyler Jimmy’s room, got all the way to the shipping supply aisle of a local office goods store. I was sorely tempted to buy the 24-dollar bag of Styrofoam packing peanuts (“biodegradable!”) because the are clingy and annoying, and even better, they are known for being clingy and annoying!

If that instance had been the first time I’d dealt with such trials, I may have caved. And in fact, I have on several occasions in the past. For example I bought duck tape and a tablecloth, with grand schemes in mind… and I still haven’t used them! Though on the other hand, I did buy the trash bags used in the “Bags and Pipes” prank. However, the best part of that prank was free (using Tyler Jimmy’s own stereo and a borrowed CD against him…. For several hours…. At full volume.)

So then, here are a few things to keep in mind when gathering your prank materials:

• Be resourceful: Use what you already have. Especially because there is a special kind of humor in a prank made from things everyone has. Like left-over holiday candy.
• Borrow: people want to be involved in pranking, even if they don’t prank themselves.
• Do site-based pranks: like removing things from the room, or bringing things from outside in.
• Reuse garbage: For example, during my internship I filled my supervisor’s desk drawers with paper scraps from recycling: Sustainable Pranking!

Pranking Paralytics: Morality

I like to blame “the man” for a lot of things. For example, I blame the paternalistic socialization I underwent as a child (where good girls don’t do gross, annoying, or overly rambunctious things) for my heightened sense of pranker’s guilt. Once I dumped a bag of Chex Mix in Tyler Jimmy’s bed (or under the carpet, can’t remember which – this was during the early days of the War!) and remember thinking about the bugs. Oh, the bugs were going to infest his room, and bother his poor roommate who had nothing to do with the pranking, and then these bugs would eat through his furniture and eventually bring the ceiling down because they’d turned their voracious appetite towards the Sondheim House infrastructure.

It didn’t really get that far. But you may have experienced similar, less paranoid feelings when pranking. In fact, such sentiments may have prevented you from pulling off a couple-o-good-ones. That’s why I call Morality a pranking paralytic.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for values and have a great many of them myself. But I believe that the world of pranking, like the worlds of fiction writing, professional wrestling and university, is a world where you must suspend your normal judgments in exchange for a new subjective set.

I encourage you to communicate with your pranking partner: What don’t you like? What makes you uncomfortable? What is too far? (This analogy has gone too far!) Set up boundaries. For example, off limit zones are: hair, underwear, musical instruments, electronics. And if it’s not off limits, go there! Screw it, I say -- you’re already pranking. And pranking is not nice!

Pranking Paralytics: Time Constraints

I have always been anxious about time: getting there on time, having enough time, not wasting time. Case in point: I loved Zelda as a child. But when they came out with the Mask of Majora, I flipping peed my pants. It’s completely time-based! It is possible to run out of it – waste it – not have enough of it (of course you won’t know until you’re twenty pages into a cheat book that you had to buy because you can’t the handle the pressure! And you’re not even in high school yet!)

Enough of that.

Yes – I do feel the pressure to do quick pranks because I’m worried Tyler Jimmy is going to walk in on them (which I did to him anyways, so half the pressure is gone.) But! If you’re like me, here’re a few things you can do.

• One is to communicate your schedules (“I will be out of the room every Tuesday from 10:30am to 4:15pm.”) It’s gross, and can lead to pranking that is so overly scheduled it kills the spontaneity. Ten cuidado, prankitantes.
  
• Secondly, use helpers. I remember a prank where I was especially worried about time. I wanted to put fliers under all of Tyler Jimmy’s floormates’ doors asking them to help him move his stuff out in exchange for pizza. If I got caught, clearly, the ruse would be up! So I got some underclassmen to help me out. And it was great bonding!
• Third, ignore your overly conditioned sense of urgency!! You are not going to miss the school bus! Class will not begin without you! Do the prank – and if they show up while you’re working, you’ll have had more finished than if you cut out before really developing the piece!

Bed Time - Egg Time!

Here’s a prank that did not go over as well as I had hoped. You could say that Tyler Jimmy got lucky, but I think there was an error in execution on my part. The idea was this: set raw eggs (ever so gently) under the covers on the bed and in the pillow -- making bed time, egg time! He can tell you more about how he caught on to the eggs, but suffice it to say only one was broken, and I believe he found this one … and crushed it out of principle.

One lesson learned: Tell your victim you have pranked them! You can make them do all kinds of screwy things when they’re paranoid (like clean their room.)

Supplies: Raw eggs, rotten is better! Remember that a bad egg sinks in water.

Execution: Access bed, insert eggs.

Difficulty: Not very hard if you have eggs handy (mine were contributed by some prank-patrons down the hall.) I suppose the difficult part is placing these strategically where they will be crushed but not noticed first. Let me know if you use this prank successfully.

The Foil Prank

Like many of our favorites, the foil prank is beautiful in its simplicity. Ideally, you'll be pranking a materialist, with lots of items of varying size and shape. [Double-C qualified.]

Supplies: On-sale foil, flat surfaces (hard to come by, I know), the occasional piece of tape.

Execution: Go to town. Five dollars netted me 120 square feet of foil. In a half hour, you can plaster a room like seen above. Don't sweat the technique - it's not wrapping presents. And remember to cover some hidden in-drawer type stuff so's your victim can keep discovering their unwanted magpie bait for weeks to come.



Difficulty: Foil is very agreeable and can coat lamps, chairs, and baubles easily. It's almost designed for pranking. If you had the means and motivation to get foil in bulk, covering a dorm room completely - sans walls - would probably be a two-to-three hour one person job. [This doesn't take into account that, like me, you might want to cover every book on your victim's shelf.]

Camping Pranks

• Make scary noises in the middle of the night (think of bears, bats.) Also, inappropriate sounds…
• Put clothes hangers under sheets (very painful)
• Jam yogurt-covered raisins in toothpaste (blocking the flow of paste – very confusing.)
• Put Jolly Ranchers in the showerhead (very sticky)
• Hiding things in sleeping bags: s’more skewers, raisins, fried eggs, banana peels, lawn equipment
  

Office Pranks

• Fill desk drawers with paper scraps, tin cans, etc.
• Rearrange personal belongings, adding mustaches to portraits and so on.
• Remove monitor (do leave the computer running, you don't want to compromise their work.)
• Remove phone from desk (not good if you are pranking a parent, or anyone responsible for the safety of another!!)
• Gift wrap their desk.
• Anything involving sticker stock and embarassing knick-names is good!

Sentimental Value

Supplies: Something important. Jello and Tupperware.

Execution: Again, it’s up to chance whether or not you can get something of particular value to the victim, but once you get it, be sure to wrap it in plastic and suspend it in set Jello.

Difficulty: Needs four hours to set….

Found Objects

Supplies: The surrealist school of art revels in the unpredictable, organic, spontaneous nature of found objects. I’ve always liked surrealists.

Execution: If you are pranking someone who is a “P” on the Myers-Briggs personality typing test -- such as Tyler Jimmy -- you’ll have plenty of chances to grab their stuff when they leave it in your room, or when their door is open. Pilfer and prank, friends!

Difficulty: Let the pranking come to you.

Peeps!

Supplies: Peeps.

Execution: Peeps, when you separate them from each other have a sticky side where their marshmallow-fluff-interiors are exposed. These are great for slapping peeps to doors, furniture, forearms. Try microwaving them. (That’s a classic.)

Difficulty: Easy.

Romance Novels

Supplies: Cheap romance novels (check your local independently-operated, not-for-profit book warehouses, and library sales racks.) Tape, time.

Execution: Find the smutty parts of the novel and remove, also the covers. Cover doors and public spaces in these choice little morsels.

Difficulty: So easy (once you get the books.)

Dead Animals

Supplies: Found, dead animals. (Please, don’t kill for pranks – it’s not sustainable.) Box and newspapers. Mouse traps.

Execution: When you find the animal, you can package and mail it, hide it in your victim’s shoe (cough, cough – real nice excuse not to work out that day,) or … make it into a sandwich?

Difficulty: If you’re lucky enough to get the animal, it’s only a matter of containing yourself long enough to set up a good prank.

Post Embarrassing Photos

Supplies: Observant Eyes, a steady hand and ready camera.

Execution: Point, shoot, (watermark,) post.

Difficulty: Pretty easy. I just did it.

Subtract Furniture

Supplies: Screwdriver, strong arms, a place to stash the cache.

Execution: When your victim, or roommate, is gone, disassemble and remove their furniture. Here, we took Brittany’s desk and everything on/in it and put them under Tyler Jimmy’s bed.

Difficulty: Not hard once all the planets have aligned themselves. Finding the perfect combination of a trusting and absent roommate and time to steal their things, is likely to be your one hang up.

Bucket of Nast

Supplies: Bucket, water, yogurt, oil – really any liquid. Bonus material: garbage, feminine hygiene products, food particles. Remember that anything is nastier when wet.

Execution: Fill bucket with nast, then lean against a door so that it falls into the room when opened.

Difficulty Level: Disproportionately low given its potency. Getting your hands on a bucket will be the most difficult part.